As of late, so many truths have been revealed. One truth that has come to the light is the "aesthetically pleasing" friendship. The English Dictionary defines a friendship as the emotions or conduct of friends; to be one's friend. A simple definition but unfortunately, we have found ourselves as friendless women or if we do have friends, its a very select few...why is that?
While there are so many reasons why a person may end up without a partner in crime, one reason that is more common these days is the "aesthetic friend". An aesthetic is defined as the appreciation of beauty or concerned with beauty. This type of friend is concerned mostly with keeping up appearances vs keeping the heart or feelings of a friend in tack. This type of thing screams you're only good enough for this setting or this aspect of my life. It screams "I think you're the "ugly" friend in the group!"
This type of friendship is toxic! Only caring about someones appearances, is a red flag for insecurities within oneself, negative self talk, trauma and much more! Being in the vicinity of someone who is consistently mindful of what other people think of them and the people they associate with is emotionally taxing. It can also lower the vibration of those said people. I have noticed that the dynamic of a friendship has shifted as well. From enjoying each others company, having brunch dates, staying up on the phone all night discussing each others successes, failures and crazy stories to seeing who can get the attention of this person the fastest, competing for bragging rights over frivolous things or secret hatred. The term frenemy has even made it way into the mainstream vocabulary because society has lost the core concept of what it truly means to be a friend! It's "normal" to be resentful to a degree.
A persons attire or hairstyle isn't a reason to exclude someone from important events in your life! I'll say this, if your friend has a particular style, its YOUR duty to make sure they look the best FOR THEMSELVES! Make sure they feel beautiful in whatever way they decide to present themselves and most importantly, that they feel LOVED by you!
So, I challenge you to take a look around at the people that you call friend. Do you notice any red flags within them? Do you get knots in your stomach when they call you? Do they pick you apart based on what you wear or how you process things mentally?.... If you answered yes to ANY of these questions, its time to either have a hard conversation or go your separate ways! Life is already hard and will test you to your limit but the people that you call friend should be with you hand in hand.
Stay grounded Goddess!